Camouflage Snotrockets

The San Francisco Giants wore camouflage caps for today’s game in honor of Memorial Day. There’s no camouflaging Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets. They openly fly out in the air for the world to see. Let us give thanks.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for Monday, May 27, 2013 on the road vs. the Oakland Athletics:

  • L, 6.2 IP, 4 H, 5 BB, 4 R, 4 ER, 6 K, 1 HR, 13 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 7 vs. righties, 6 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • All four Bumgarner SNR in the 1st inning were blown while facing no batters.
  • Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for the first 2 months of the 2013 season – April: 72 – May: 64

Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, June 1 on the road vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Audible Snotrockets

 

I hate it when work interferes with my snotrocket tallying. I was unable to live-tweet the first two innings of today’s Madison Bumgarner outing because I couldn’t duck out of work early enough. The problems of an unofficial snotrocket tallier.

Also disappointing was that the San Francisco Giants lost today. Bumgarner pitched a great game but only received a no-decision for his efforts. Ah well. It was a great day for snotrockets though so all was not lost.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, May 22, 2013 at home vs. the Washington Nationals:

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 18 SNR (snotrockets): 4 vs. lefties, 8 vs. righties, 6 other. 1 pre-game and 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 7th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • More Madison Bumgarner snotrocket facts: all 3 SNR he blew in the 5th inning were while facing 1 batter (Denard Span).
  • Today’s total of 18 snotrockets was a season-high for Bumgarner.

Something odd, snotrocket-wise, occurred in today’s game. For the first time ever I could swear that I actually heard Bumgarner blow his snotrockets. The first time I heard the noise in today’s televised game I just assumed that it was one of the Giants TV broadcasters, Mike Krukow or Duane Kuiper, sniffling or something like that. But then I noticed that I heard the same sound each time Bumgarner blew a snotrocket. After the second or third time it happened I realized that it couldn’t be a coincidence and that I wasn’t imagining things: the ballpark mics were picking up Bumgarner’s snotrockets. Awesome.

How to explain this new phenomenon? Did they just install some incredibly powerful ballpark mics at AT&T Park? Did someone secretly plant a mic on Bumgarner’s person? Are Bumgarner’s snotrockets becoming so mighty and powerful that they can be picked up by distant mics? It’s a snotrocket mystery.

I also wanted to give thanks to another Giants fan on Twitter, @bthefish, for this snotrocket observation:

Image

Even though I only tally Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets I can still appreciate one from another Giants player. Attaboy Joaquin Arias.

Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, May 27, on the road vs. the Oakland Athletics. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Snotrockets Into Thin Air

Can I just say right now that I hate Coors Field. Okay? Okay. On with the snotrocket show.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, May 17, 2013 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies:

  • L, 4.2 IP, 8 H, 9 R, 7 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 1 HR (GS), 15 SNR (snotrockets): 3 vs. L, 8 vs. R, 4 other.
  • Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 5th in which he blew 5 snotrockets.

Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, May 22 at home vs. the Washington Nationals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Oh yes I almost forgot: fuck you Dinger.

Double Blow Snotrockets

I’ve been tallying Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets for a couple of years now and in his start against the Braves last Saturday I saw something I’ve never seen before. Bumgarner blew a snotrocket once and then immediately blew a second snotrocket from the same nostril. This was unprecedented. I’ve tallied many a double snotrocket blown by Bumgarner (a double snotrocket is one that is blown first from one nostril then the other) but never two from the same nostril. You tune in to a ballgame, you never know what you might see.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, May 11, 2013 at home vs. the Atlanta Braves:

 

  • W, 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 11 K, 0 HR, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 3 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 3 other. 1 at-bat and 1 double blow SNR.
  • Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.

Let Saturday, May 11, 2013 henceforth be known as the debut of the Madison Bumgarner double blow snotrocket. We are not worthy.

Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, May 22, at home vs. the Washington Nationals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

One Loss And Many Snotrockets

Madison Bumgarner picked up his first loss of the 2013 season last night. Not his best game, pitching-wise, but a pretty good game snotrocket-wise.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, May 6, 2013 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 8 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 1 HR, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 7 other. 1 pre-game and 1 dugout SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 2nd in which he blew 3 snotrockets.

Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, May 11 in San Francisco vs. the Atlanta Braves. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.