Rock Bottom Snotrockets

 

Another well-pitched Madison Bumgarner game. Another San Francisco Giants loss. Bumgarner keeps pitching great and the Giants keep losing. Each game I think that it can’t be any worse than the previous one and then it is. Can’t hit, can’t field, can’t run the bases without getting caught in a rundown…it’s unofficially official: the Giants have hit rock bottom.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday July 27, 2013 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs:

 

  • ND, 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 BB, 0 R, 0 ER, 7 K, 0 HR, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 double and 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now has 22 snotrockets vs. the Cubs in 2013.

Bumgarner’s next start should be this Friday, August 2 at the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (yes I know they changed their name but screw it I like “Devil Rays” better). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action. It’s all we Giants fans have, now.  Sigh once more.

 

Snakes and Snotrockets

Another Madison Bumgarner outing, another Madison Bumgarner gem. There were lots of snotrockets but not a lot of Giants runs (One count ’em one run) so even though Bumgarner pitched beautifully he was saddled with the loss. Sigh.

Image

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for July 21, 2013 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 1 HBP, 6 K, 12 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 8 vs. righties, 3 other. 6 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now has 37 snotrockets vs. the DBacks this season.
  • More Bumgarner SNR (snotrocket) notes: today’s totals of 6 double SNR is tied for most double SNR in 2013 (6/30/13 vs. Rockies).

During the game @SanDiegoGiants posted some great snotrocket screenscaps on Twitter. First, it’s one of the day’s 6 double snotrockets:

Image

Prepare yourself for the close-ups. The left nostril:

Image

And then the right nostril:

Image

Wait don’t go. There’s one more snotrocket screencap. From the centerfield camera:

Image

Whether they’re close-up or at a distance Bumgarner’s snotrockets never disappoint.

Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, July 27 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

First Half Snotrockets

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Madison Bumgarner pitched another fabulous game. Well of course he did. He’s Madison Bumgarner, you know.

Bumgarner closed out the first half of the season in fine fashion, both in pitching and snotrocketing. And without further ado here are Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, July 11, 2013 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

  • W, 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB (IBB), 6 K, 10 SNR(snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 5 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now has 36 snotrockets vs. the Padres in 2013.
  • Bumgarner 2013 1st half snotrocket totals 216 ― Home: 82  Road: 134  Day: 95  Night:121 Lefties: 32  Righties: 92  Other: 92

In addition to his usual everyday fabulousness Bumgarner was also named to the National League team for his very first All Star Game. My fingers are crossed and I’m hoping fervently to see at least one All Star Snotrocket. You know you want to see it too.

The MLB All Star Game will be on Tuesday, July 16. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting All Star Snotrocket action.

Dodgers Can Suck Snotrockets

I hate the Dodgers. Filthy rotten scumbag Dodgers. No-good disgusting disease-ridden loathsome Dodgers. Everything about them is vile and nasty and putrid. Have I mentioned that I hate the Dodgers? Yeah.

Madison Bumgarner had another stellar outing on Saturday and in doing so laid waste the Los Angeles Dodgers. It was a great outing for him: not only did he pitch extremely well but Bumgarner also had 2 RBI. The only place where he didn’t shine was in the snotrocket category. However I place the blame for that solely on Fox Sports. Their cameras are very anti-pitcher; they focus almost everywhere on the field but the pitcher’s mound. Even the players in the on-deck circle got more coverage than Bumgarner. Who cares about the batter who’s up next? WE NEED TO SEE THE SNOTROCKETS. I hate Fox almost as much as the Dodgers.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, July 6, 2013 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers:

  • W, 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 BB, 2 R, 2 ER, 9 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s 3 snotrockets came in the 4th, 5th and 6th innings.
  • This game’s total of 3 SNR (snotrockets) is the fewest number of SNR that Bumgarner has blown all season.
  • Other Madison Bumgarner SNR (snotrocket) totals of note: he now has 29 SNR vs. the Dodgers this season.

One of the highlights of this game was the fact that the Dodgers OF Yasiel Puig struck out 4 times against the Giants, and 3 of those 4 K’s came while facing Bumgarner. I celebrated this feat on Twitter:

Image

As I mentioned the game aired on Fox Sports and we were unlucky enough to get Joe Buck and Tim McCarver as broadcasters. Buck and McCarver spent most of the game waxing rhapsodic over the Dodgers. I discussed this with some other Giants fans on Twitter:

Image

And…

Image

Note on Joe Buck’s “tablecloth” shirt: he was wearing gingham and he just wasn’t pulling it off. As I noted yesterday:

Image

Enough about Fox Sports and Joe Buck.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, July 11 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action. And since the game won’t be on Fox we should see a lot of Bumgarner mucus rocketing out in Petco Park. I can hardly wait.

Oh yeah one more thing: Fuck the Dodgers.

Three Months of Snotrockets

To the surprise of no one Madison Bumgarner had another great game today, in both pitching and snotrocketing. We are not worthy.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, June 30, 2013 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies:

  • W, 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 1 HBP, 18 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 8 vs. righties, 9 other. 1 at-bat and 6 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 6 snotrockets.
  • Other Madison Bumgarner SNR (snotrocket) totals of note: he blew 6 double SNR today which is a season high.
  • More Madison Bumgarner snotrocket totals of note: he now has 42 snotrockets vs. the Rockies so far this season.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s SNR (snotrocket) totals for the first 3 months of 2013 – April: 72 – May: 64 – June: 67 (203).

One more important snotrocket note from today’s game:

Image

Last year Bumgarner didn’t blow his 200th snotrocket of the season until July 13th, 2012, at home vs. the Houston Astros (8:27 PM) so he’s ahead of his 2012 pace. Will he beat his 2012 snotrocket total of 348 SNR? Only time will tell.

Also, today on Twitter Comcast Sports Net Bay Area Giants beat writer Andrew Baggarly tweeted that Madison Bumgarner might be a possibility for the 2013 MLB All Star Game. Or as he said it might come down to a choice between Bumgarner and Giants reliever Sergio Romo. Now, Romo’s done a very good job as the Giants closer this season but for me there was really only one true choice:

Image

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Friday, July 5 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (euww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Oh one more thing. Fuck you Dinger.

(Note: because of today’s [07/04/13] rainout of the Giants vs. Reds game in Cincinnati the starting rotation got pushed back and Bumgarner will now start on Saturday July 6  vs. the Dodgers [euww].)