Dodgers Can Suck Snotrockets

I hate the Dodgers. Filthy rotten scumbag Dodgers. No-good disgusting disease-ridden loathsome Dodgers. Everything about them is vile and nasty and putrid. Have I mentioned that I hate the Dodgers? Yeah.

Madison Bumgarner had another stellar outing on Saturday and in doing so laid waste the Los Angeles Dodgers. It was a great outing for him: not only did he pitch extremely well but Bumgarner also had 2 RBI. The only place where he didn’t shine was in the snotrocket category. However I place the blame for that solely on Fox Sports. Their cameras are very anti-pitcher; they focus almost everywhere on the field but the pitcher’s mound. Even the players in the on-deck circle got more coverage than Bumgarner. Who cares about the batter who’s up next? WE NEED TO SEE THE SNOTROCKETS. I hate Fox almost as much as the Dodgers.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, July 6, 2013 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers:

  • W, 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 BB, 2 R, 2 ER, 9 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s 3 snotrockets came in the 4th, 5th and 6th innings.
  • This game’s total of 3 SNR (snotrockets) is the fewest number of SNR that Bumgarner has blown all season.
  • Other Madison Bumgarner SNR (snotrocket) totals of note: he now has 29 SNR vs. the Dodgers this season.

One of the highlights of this game was the fact that the Dodgers OF Yasiel Puig struck out 4 times against the Giants, and 3 of those 4 K’s came while facing Bumgarner. I celebrated this feat on Twitter:

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As I mentioned the game aired on Fox Sports and we were unlucky enough to get Joe Buck and Tim McCarver as broadcasters. Buck and McCarver spent most of the game waxing rhapsodic over the Dodgers. I discussed this with some other Giants fans on Twitter:

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And…

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Note on Joe Buck’s “tablecloth” shirt: he was wearing gingham and he just wasn’t pulling it off. As I noted yesterday:

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Enough about Fox Sports and Joe Buck.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, July 11 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action. And since the game won’t be on Fox we should see a lot of Bumgarner mucus rocketing out in Petco Park. I can hardly wait.

Oh yeah one more thing: Fuck the Dodgers.

About Fawn Liebowitz

I'm Madison Bumgarner's snotrocket tallier. Don't judge me. Or Madison Bumgarner.
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