Snotrocket Conspiracy Theory

 

Every time Madison Bumgarner pitches and the cameras are focused on anything but him out on the mound I immediately think, “Aha! They’re repulsed by the snotrockets and want to show as few of them as possible so they’re deliberately avoiding Bumgarner as much as possible. SNOTROCKET CONSPIRACY!”

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Oh sure, it may sound ridiculous but how else to explain that during each of his last two starts Bumgarner didn’t blow a snotrocket until over an hour into the game? First his start vs. the Marlins (first snotrocket in the 5th inning) and then his latest start vs. the Pirates (first snotrocket in the 4th). The cameras would show Bumgarner throwing a pitch and then immediately cut to a close-up of the batter, the on-deck hitter, someone in either dugout, another of the on-deck hitter, more of the batter and so on and so forth until it was time for Bumgarner to throw another pitch. Then the same thing all over again. And again. And again. It’s like they sensed Bumgarner might let one rip and they wanted to hurry away from him before he did. Very suspicious.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, August 23, 2013 at home vs. the Pittsburgh Pirates:

  • L, 8.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 7 vs. righties, 3 other. 1 double and 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 8th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now has 276 snotrockets in 2013.

It’s always nice when people on Twitter take note of your efforts:

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Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, August 28 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action. I’ll be watching with my tin foil snotrocket hat on.

About Fawn Liebowitz

I'm Madison Bumgarner's snotrocket tallier. Don't judge me. Or Madison Bumgarner.
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