Despairing Snotrockets

 

DODGERS CAN SUCK ALL THE SNOTROCKETS LOUSY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING DISGUSTING DESPICABLE DEMONIC DEMENTED DEPRAVED DETESTABLE DEVIANT DODGERS I HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH

As you might guess last night’s San Francisco Giants game did not go well. Madison Bumgarner was not his usual Madison Bumgarner self and had a not so good game. Meaning the Doyers won the National League Western Division and eliminated the Giants from postseason play Tuesday night. In San Francisco. On the Giants home turf. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.

I need to stop thinking about it or I’ll burst a couple of blood vessels. I know what makes for a soothing time. Snotrockets. Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets. Think about the snotrockets and things will be all better ohhhh yesssss…[stares glassy-eyed into space]

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, September 29, 2015 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (EEEEEUUUUUWWWWW)

 

L, 5.2 IP, 5 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, 3 HR, 11 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 6 vs. righties, 4 other. 3 pre-game SNR. 5 glove SNR.

Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 5 snotrockets.

Bumgarner now with 40 snotrockets vs. the Dodgers and 279 snotrockets overall in 2015.

 

For what may have been the last time in 2015 Svengoolie disciple and snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants produced some quality Bumgarner snotrocket screencaps last night. Here’s one from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-29

 

Second inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-29-1

 

Hidden snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-29-2

 

Ominous portent of things to come: everyone turning away from the snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-29-3

 

Always a crowd pleaser: the patented Bumgarner glove snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-29-4

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be…??? It could be this Sunday, October 4, 2015 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies. Or it could be next spring. Tune in this Sunday, here or on Twitter, for all the exciting snotrocket action. Maybe.

DASTARDLY DEPLORABLE DEFORMED DISEASED DIRTY DODGERS SERENITY NOW

Long Sleeve Snotrockets

Madison Bumgarner wore long sleeves in last night’s game. It was earth-shattering. We may never be the same again. The sleeves only lasted for a few innings but the haunting images of covered forearms will last forever.

Also lasting forever: snotrocket stats. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, September 24, 2015 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 1 HR, 16 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 9 vs. righties, 7 other. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 dugout SNR. 5 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 5 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 57 snotrockets vs. the Padres and 268 snotrockets overall in 2015.

Svengoolie worshipper and snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants attended last night’s game at Petco Park and thus captured the Bumgarner snotrockets in their live raw form. Here’s one from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24

2nd inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24-1

Painterly half-a-snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24-2

Fuzzy 5th inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24-3

Partial crotch grab:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24-4-Crotch Grab

Raw snotrocket from the 7th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-24-5

Bonus Bumgarner: several times during last night’s game Madison Bumgarner was seemingly bothered by Joe West, the home plate umpire. Bumgarner had some problems with West’s strike zone and expressed his displeasure by staring/glaring towards home plate. There’s video of this epic stare down but I can’t post it because I have the free blog and you can only post videos if you have a paid blog. But here’s a link to it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yZPevbDtCbM

It seemed pretty intense but after the game Madison Bumgarner was his usual droll self:

Tweets-JohnSheaHey-Bumgarner-Joe West-2015

Much of the Internet was agog with the stare down and many commented about it on various websites. This was my favorite comment, found at Deadspin:

Giants-Bumgarner-Joe West-Neck Sac-Deadspin Comment-2015

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, September 29, 2015 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Unsupported Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner pitched well enough to win last night. The San Francisco Giants did not hit well enough to win. That about sums it up, bye now.

Oh wait I almost forgot the most important part of the game. Snotrockets! Good ol’ snotrockets. Where would we be without the snotrockets? Lost, in a dark cold lonely mucus-free part of the universe. No thank you.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, September 18, 2015 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 1 IBB, 7 K, 9 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 4 other. 2 pre-game SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 33 snotrockets vs. the DBacks and 261 snotrockets overall in 2015.

 

Right now you’re probably asking yourself, “Where are the Bumgarner snotrocket screencaps from last night’s game? Were the snotrockets not captured for posterity? Will I be snotrocket-screencapless until Bumgarner’s next start?” Never fear, Svengoolie devotee and Bumgarner snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants came through once again and produced some top-notch snotrocket screencaps. Here’s one of Bumgarner’s pre-game snotrockets:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18

 

A hit-in-the-first-inning-so-no-perfect-game-this-time snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-1

 

At-bat snotrocket in the 3rd inning. Diamondback catcher Welington Castillo looks like he’s picking part of the snotrocket off of his arm:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-2

 

Snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-3

 

Long season snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-4

 

Season winding down snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-5

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap: blowing loogies to his fans in the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-18-6-Blowing Loogies

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, September 24, 2015 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Near Perfect Snotrockets

 

Oh so close. Madison Bumgarner had a perfect game going against the San Diego Padres with 2 outs in the 8th inning when that  awful horrible terrible B.J. (I’m not calling you Melvin) Upton singled. If Bumgarner losing a perfect game in the 8th inning sounds familiar to you then you’re right.

As one might guess I did not handle the loss of a Bumgarner perfect game well:

Tweets-FL-Upton-O'Neill-Bumgarner-Garrelts-2015

 

B.J. Upton. Paul O’Neill. My enemies forever.

So no perfecto but at least we had snotrockets, thank goodness. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 12, 2015 at home vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 9.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, 16 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 11 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 at-bat SNR. 6 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 8th in which he blew 8 snotrockets.
  • The 8 snotrockets that Madison Bumgarner blew in the 8th inning are the most that Bumgarner has blown in any inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 41 snotrockets vs. the Padres and 252 snotrockets overall in 2015.

 

World’s greatest Svengoolie enthusiast and snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was poised to capture history tonight. Alas it did not happen but he still produced some great Bumgarner snotrocket screencaps. Starting off strong in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12

 

Gigantes snotrocket in the 4th:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-1

 

At-bat snotrocket from the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-2

 

Tempting the fates tweet:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-3-Twitter

 

Achieving high jinx status tweet:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-4-Twitter

 

Interesting snotrocket from the 7th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-5

 

Normal average everyday snotrocket in the 8th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-6

 

Snotrocket in stride from the 8th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-7

 

The perfect game was gone by the 9th inning but Madison Bumgarner still had one more perfect snotrocket to blow:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-12-8

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, September 18, 2015 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Mile High Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants closed out their 4 game series in Denver, Colorado today and to no one’s surprise Madison Bumgarner did not disappoint, producing a win and many snotrockets. Thin air + Madison Bumgarner = a very busy game for this snotrocket tallier.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 6, 2015 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • W, 6.0 IP, 9 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, 17 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 9 vs. righties, 6 other. 2 double SNR. 2 glove SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 on-base SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 5 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s total of 17 snotrockets today is his highest snotrocket game total this season.
  • Bumgarner now with 22 snotrockets vs. the Rockies and 236 snotrockets overall in 2015.

 

President of the Svengoolie Fan Club (Southern CA chapter) and snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants grabbed some of Bumgarner’s snotrockets from today’s game. Not literally although how awesome would that be? Getcher bottled Bumgarner snotrockets heeaaahhh! Anyway, for your viewing pleasure here’s a snotrocket from some mysterious inning today:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-06

 

Snotrocket from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-06-1

 

Another Bumgarner Special, also from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-06-2

 

Bonus Bumgarner madness:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-Tweet-Nose Pick-Towel-2015-09-06

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, September 12, 2015 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Disgruntled Snotrockets

 

I hate it when the Giants lose. I hate it even more when they lose to the Dodgers (eeeuwww). I love it when Madison Bumgarner pitches. I love it even more when Madison Bumgarner blows snotrockets. I broke even tonight.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, September 1, 2015 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeeuwww):

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, 1 HR, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 7th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 29 snotrockets vs. the Dodgers and 219 snotrockets overall in 2015.

 

Another Giants loss but…all is not lost when @SanDiegoGiants captures some Bumgarner snotrockets. Here’s one from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-01

 

One of Bumgarner’s oh-so-rare glove snotrockets:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-01-1

 

Snotrocket from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-01-2

 

Anti-Greinke snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-09-01-3

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, September 6, 2015 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.