Wedgie Picks and Snotrockets

 

A new Madison Bumgarner stat?

Tweets-FL-Bumgarner-Wedgie Picks-2016

 

Er, maybe not.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, April 25, 2016 at home vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 6.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, 12 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 6 vs. righties, 5 other. 2 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 47 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your feelings about such things) @SanDiegoGiants didn’t get photos of Bumgarner’s epic wedgie picks but he did get some damn fine snotrocket ones. Here’s an at-bat snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25

 

One strikeout, one snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-1

 

Sneaky snotrocket from the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-2

 

Top of the 6th inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-3

 

Bumgarner sneaking in one snotrocket before his at-bat:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-4

 

And one immediately after the at-bat:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-5

 

Madison Bumgarner makes his last snotrocket of the game a good one:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-6

 

Bonus Bumgarner pic:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-Dramatic Nose Wipe-2016-04-25-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Sunday, May 1, 2015 on the road vs. the New York Mets. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Fruitless Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner pitched extremely well tonight and the only things he has to show for it are a loss and some snotrockets. The San Francisco Giants have gone cold offensively, possibly because they were so offended by the Diamondbacks horrific new uniforms that their bats were stunned into silence. The hideousness of the DBacks new road unis may have had an additional effect on Bumgarner as well:

Tweets-FL-Bumgarner-Dry As A Bone-2016

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, April 20, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 4th and 6th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 35 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Though the snotrockets were few and far between in tonight’s game @SanDiegoGiants managed to stay awake long enough to screencap some nice ones. Here’s one from the second inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-20

 

And one from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-20-1

 

There was also this:

Tweets-SanDiegoGiants-Bumgarner-Weird Picture

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, April 25, 2016 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

 

One more thing. Look at it:

Giants-Bumgarner-Game Avatar-2016-1

 

LOOK AT IT:

Giants-Bumgarner-Game Avatar-2

Defenseless Snotrockets

 

Not Madison Bumgarner’s night. Not the San Francisco Giants night. And definitely not the Giants defense’s (defense? defense’s? defensivenesslessnessess?) night as they made 3 errors behind Bumgarner. Feh.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, April 15, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww):

 

  • L, 5.0 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 2 HR, 9 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 double SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 2 dugout SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 30 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

With no victory, few runs and some ugly defense the snotrockets are the only joy that we can take away from tonight’s game. Fortunately for us @SanDiegoGiants made no errors in his snotrocket screencapping and came up with some good ones. Here’s a snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15

 

Close up snotrocket from the same inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-1

 

Giants 1 – Chavez Latrine Boys 2 snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-2

 

Gratuitous ear dig tweet and pic:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-Ear Dig

 

Bumgarner vents his feelings about his teammates defensive woes and lays down a double snotrocket. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-3

 

Bumgarner still venting, this time out of his right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-4

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be next Wednesday, April 20th, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Clayton Kershaw Hates Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner hit his second career home run off of Clayton Kershaw today. Understand that no other pitcher has hit even one homer off Kershaw. Bumgarner has two in his career. TWO. BUMGARNER WITH TWO CAREER BOMBS OFF KERSHAW. Take a look at the one he hit today   (I apologize for the poor quality of the gif):

Giants-2016-04-09-vs Dodgers-Bumgarner-Home Run-Kershaw

 

As you can imagine Kershaw wasn’t too thrilled when the ball left the yard:

Giants-Dodgers-Bumgarner-Kershaw-HR-Fucking Shitting Me

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for April 9, 2016 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww):

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 8 K, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 5 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 2 dugout SNR. 1 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 3 snotrockets.

 

Imagine my Panik panic when I received this tweet from @SanDiegoGiants right before the game:

Tweets-SanDiegoGiants-On Assignment-2016

 

Not to worry though, the accomplished snotrocket screencapper came through after all with some great pics of Bumgarner doing his thing. Here’s a snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09

 

Close-up snotrocket a moment later:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09-1

 

Long view snotrocket from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09-2

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, April 15, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

2016 Opening Day Snotrockets

The Walking Dead’s season 6 finale episode aired last night and I don’t care what anyone else says: it did not disappoint. If you’re one of those people still whining about the cliffhanger then move along, I’ve no use for you. Any dismay at not instantly finding out who died in last night’s episode was completely obliterated by the awesome performance of Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan. He knocked it out of the park (pun intended) with his portrayal of Negan. He was funny, menacing and charismatic all at the same time, just like in the comics. I wanted to hate him but I couldn’t. He was just too damn charming. I cannot wait for season 7.

But wait, you say, I thought this blog was about baseball or more specifically about Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets? Of course it is and snotrockets are a comin’. It’s just that I’m still reeling from finally getting to see Negan (and Lucille!) in The Walking Dead. Plus, as I’ve noted before (here and also here) San Francisco Giants baseball and Bumgarner’s snotrockets always seem to arrive just in the nick of time to help me with my zombie withdrawals. So my two loves, Giants baseball and The Walking Dead, go hand in hand. Just like Negan and his beloved Lucille.

And now on to the mucus. Madison Bumgarner got the Opening Day start and while he was a little rocky (understandable as he was suffering from the flu), lasting only 5 innings, he still pitched well enough to get the win and blew enough snotrockets to satisfy all the fans. A true professional. Plus it doesn’t hurt a pitcher any when his teammates score 12 runs for him, right?

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for April 4th, 2016 on the road vs. the Milwaukee Brewers:

  • W, 5.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 5 BB, 6 K, 2 HR, 11 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 6 other. 2 glove SNR. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 5 snotrockets.

You know what’s coming next. You waited for them all winter long. You longed for them. You dreamed about them. You said your prayers to the gods that @SanDiegoGiants would dust off his snotrocket screencapping machine in time and produce those fine snotrocket screencaps that we have all come to know and appreciate. Your prayers have been answered and you don’t have to wait any longer HERE THEY ARE [raucous crowd cheering noises]

Bumgarner’s first snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04

A more traditional front view snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-1

Another sneaky snotrocket filmed from behind:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-2

Side view beauty snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-3

And a couple of seconds later everyone’s favorite, the glove snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-3-Glove

Baseball is back, Bumgarner’s snotrockets are back and all is right with the world. Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, April 9, 2016 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action!