Snotrockets For Naught

The weather is hot. The Giants are not.

Madison Bumgarner proved two things today:

  1. He’s still the Snotrocket King.
  2. His teammates are unworthy of his greatness.

Bumgarner pitched another beauty of a game, going 8 innings and giving up only 1 earned run and the other Giants could only watch and whimper. The most they could give their exalted starting pitcher was an undeserved loss. For shame San Francisco Giants, for shame.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at home vs. the Cincinnati Reds:

  • L, 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, 1 HR, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. L, 3 vs. R, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner blew 1 snotrocket in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 8th innings respectively.
  • Bumgarner now with 168 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

Unfortunately @SanDiegoGiants was on assignment and didn’t produce any snotrocket screencaps. So this is going to be one short boring blog post.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, August 2, 2016 on the road vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

That’s it. That’s all there is for this one. What? Why are you still reading this? Come on. Go home. Attaboy.

Let There Be Snotrockets

 

In the beginning Madison Bumgarner created the inning and the game. And the game was without mucus, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the baseball diamond. And the spirit of Bumgarner moved upon the face of the ballpark. And Bumgarner said, let there be snotrockets: and there were snotrockets. And Bumgarner saw the snotrockets, and they were good.

Finally we had snotrockets. FINALLY. After going through an 11 inning snotrocket (thru 3 games) drought Madison Bumgarner broke free of the nasal handcuffs and blew some snotrockets tonight. After the first 4 innings of tonight’s game went by and nary a snotrocket was seen I was a little concerned:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL

 

But then in the 5th inning

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL-1

 

After the worst snotrocket drought ever witnessed Madison Bumgarner moistened up and let the secretions fly. I once again have a reason to live.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees:

 

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 163 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Bumgarner’s nose drought over the past several games left @SanDiegoGiants with zero material to work with. In fact he was so desperate during Bumgarner’s last dry start that he screencapped a random body part:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Elbow

 

 

But like the champ that he is Madison came through in tonight’s game and so did everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper. From the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22

 

In the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-1

 

Aren’t they beautiful? [cries]

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, July 27. 2016 at home vs. the Cincinnati Reds. See you here or on Twitter for all the snotrocket action.

Sign of the Snotrocketalypse

 

One outing. No snotrockets. End times.

The first recorded outing of Madison Bumgarner where he started a game and produced zero snotrockets on camera. None. Nada. Zilch. This was a terrible night.

When the first couple of innings went by and no snotrockets appeared I wasn’t too worried because sooner or later Bumgarner always comes through with some nasal beauties. But as the game progressed and still no snotrockets were blown you could witness my growing Panik panic on Twitter:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL

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Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-1

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Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-3

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Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-4

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Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-5

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Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-6

 

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 15, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 2 HR, 0 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. L, 0 vs. R, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning didn’t happen because there weren’t any freaking snotrockets blown.
  • Madison Bumgarner still with 161 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though there were no official (on camera) snotrockets recorded in tonight’s game America’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still captured a couple because he was at the game. Sneaky snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants

 

Sneaky snotrocket #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-1-Tweet

 

@SanDiegoGiants partner in crime @Iamjerklord tried her hand at snotrocket screencapping, with mixed results:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-2-Tweet

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – fowl edition #1:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Bird

 

Fowl edition #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-Bird

 

Snotrocket screencapper on safari edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-In The Wild

 

HE CAN SEE ME edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-IAmJerklord

 

The best tandem in baseball edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Posey-Bumgarner-1

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Please God, let there be snotrockets. Amen.

One Hit And Several Snotrockets Ago

 

Madison Bumgarner’s latest attempt at a no-hitter was foiled in the 8th inning yesterday by the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Jake Lamb. It was the only hit that Bumgarner gave up in a complete game win.

Tweets-FL-Lambs

Since yesterday’s game was the dreaded 5:05 PM start on ESPN you know there had to be plenty of talk about shadows and ESPN in general

Tweets-FL-Whine ESPN

 

Tweets-FL-In Game Interviews

 

Tweets-FL-ESPN Bullshit

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, July 10, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • W, 9.0 IP, 1 H, 1 BB, 0 R, 0 ER, 14 K, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 4 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 161 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was on assignment yesterday so there are no snotrocket screencaps to dazzle your eyes. There was this though:

Tweets-No NoNo Bumgarner-1

Tweets-No NoNo Bumgarner

 

So bottom line: even if there were no snotrocket screencaps and no no-no we still got to see Madison Bumgarner pitch one heck of a game. Which is nice.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, July 15, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Sporadic Snotrockets

 

Tonight’s San Francisco Giants game had a weird vibe to it early on. Madison Bumgarner pitched well so that wasn’t it. The Giants had some great defensive plays so that wasn’t it either. So what had me feeling all hinky about tonight’s game?

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet

 

Oh yeah.

It wasn’t just me either. Bumgarner’s mucus deficiency had everyone concerned:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet-2

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 on-base SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 153 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though the snotrockets were incredibly few and far between everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still managed to capture a beauty in the bottom of the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-1-Tweet

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap: post wipe edition with a slight edit by me because Rockies catcher Nick Hundley kept jawing at Angel Pagan after Pagan struck out and also because Hundley’s face:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet-Hundley Face

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, July 10, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.