Sugar Skull Snotrockets

 

Good things that have returned:

  1. Madison Bumgarner snotrockets
  2. Madison Bumgarner loogies
  3. Madison Bumgarner cup twitches

 

Bad things that have returned:

  1. No run support for Madison Bumgarner

 

Looky, another game where Madison Bumgarner pitched really well but received a loss because his teammates forgot how to hit a ball with a bat. Bumgarner’d is the new Cain’d. Oh well at least we had snotrockets. Thank you Mr. Bumgarner for the return of the mucus. I’m sorry your teammates get hitting amnesia every time you pitch.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, August 26, 2017 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks (closed roof):

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 45 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Thank goodness @SanDiegoGiants didn’t suddenly develop snotrocket screencapping amnesia. Unlike the Giants he was hard at work in last Saturday’s game, giffing and screencapping. First up are a couple of snotrocket screencaps. They actually occurred later in the game but I was so excited to see them that I had to post them right away. Snotrocket screencap #1 was in the 7th inning and after 97 pitches:

 

Nearly identical snotrocket in the same inning but after 106 pitches:

 

Next is a 3 for 1 special – a gif with a long ball, a smirk and a snotrocket:

 

Long fly ball + long crotch grab + 4 free weeks of nicotine gum:

 

Important distinction:

 

Bumgarner argues with the home plate ump during an at-bat while simultaneously doing a double crotch grab:

 

Extra Bumgarner goodies:

Last weekend was Players Weekend in Major League Baseball where players could wear special jerseys with any nickname they wanted on the back. Bumgarner’s choice was probably an obvious one:

 

During the game San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy was inspired by his ace lefty and had a little nose action of his own:

 

The day before the game @NBCSGiants tweeted out a question: what would fans suggest to MLB to make the game more fun and attractive for fans? Personally I think just a plain old baseball game is exciting enough without having to add bells and whistles and whatnot but I never miss an opportunity to get in a plug for Bumgarner’s snotrockets. They aired the best answers on TV after that night’s game and much thanks go to @BASportsGuy for this pic:

 

Finally, an explanation about this blog post’s title – the Diamondbacks had an ad for a bobblehead giveaway up on their backstop the entire length of the game:

and after a few innings of seeing it I just kept hearing the words “sugar skull sugar skull sugar skull” in my head over and over and over. I have no idea what a sugar skull bobblehead is but I did wonder if the Diamondbacks maybe had the first edible bobblehead. That would be worth standing in line for.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be tonight, Thursday August 31, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

A Smidgen Of Snotrockets

 

They’re back. Back again. The snotrockets are back. Tell a friend. Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets haven’t completely dried up and gone away forever. They just took a night off in his last start. So okay there weren’t that many snotrockets in Bumgarner’s latest start but that’s all right; a smidgen of snotrockets are better than none at all. Also seeing a return to Bumgarner’s game were the beloved cup twitches and loogies. No wedgie picks though but I don’t want to be greedy so I’m not complaining.

I’m also not going to complain about the San Francisco Giants once again barely scoring any runs for Bumgarner, only managing two in this game one of which was produced by the big man himself. Nope, not complaining about yet another win that should have been Bumgarner’s but for the fact that whenever he pitches lately Giants runs are as scarce as the snotrockets. No siree bob no complaints here about Bumgarner’s teammates offensively going as cold as an August night game at Candlestick Park because I’m not the complaining type see?

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies:

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 2nd and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 38 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Even though the snotrockets in this game were as rare as a 2017 Giants win that ace snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants captured both of them. First up is a combination loogie + snotrocket gif:

 

Here’s Bumgarner taking care of business himself and driving in a run:

 

And the game’s only other snotrocket which happened in the 6th inning:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, August 26, 2017 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Screech Vs. The Snotrocketer

 

No Madison Bumgarner snotrockets to share in this blog post, just a wonderful gif I came across recently. It was made last year by @SanDiegoGiants of the time Bumgarner pitched against the Nationals in Washington D.C. and the Nats’ mascot Screech did a masterful troll job of Bum when he was taking his cuts in the on deck circle:

 

Madison Bumgarner is scheduled to pitch this Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Snitcher Snotrockets

 

Someone tattled on me. Someone told Madison Bumgarner about this snotrocket blog. I’m almost certain of it. Someone had to have said to him, “Hey did you know there’s some weirdo out there that tallies the number of times you blow a snotrocket in a game? And oh by the way she also takes note whenever you hock a loogie, twitch your cup and unpick a wedgie?” Because how else can you explain the sudden paucity of mucus? Plus everything else. As far as the snotrockets are concerned I’m pretty sure it’s not the result of any allergy medications because I can still tell just by watching him Bumgarner’s producing plenty of mucus out there on the mound. I study that boy like a hawk when he pitches and lately instead of producing snotrockets and loogies Bumgarner has been sucking down the mucus and swallowing them instead. I told you I watch him closely and you’re welcome. He’s also still rubbing his nose on his glove and sleeve a lot so I know the snotrockets are itching to come busting out of that nose but Bumgarner’s suppressing them and that’s just not right. It’s unnatural to suppress the natural. Release the snot.

And suddenly there’s so fewer cup twitches too. Also I can’t remember the last time I saw Bumgarner pick at the seat of his pants. All that colorfulness, gone. Why? Why did you snitch, you snitcher? Why would you want to make Madison Bumgarner feel ashamed about being Madison Bumgarner? People love his snotrockets. They’re fun. A part of his country boy charm. An essential component of his Madison Bumgarner-ness. Whoever finked on me please make it right. Go back to Bumgarner and tell him his fans love him and his snotrockets. We want them both. They go together, like peanut butter and jelly. Pork and beans. Socks and shoes. Bumgarner and snotrockets. They’re a pair that should never be separated. Together always.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, August 15, 2017 on the road vs. the Miami Marlins:

 

  • W, 6.0 IP, 9 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 0 SNR (snotrockets). 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner still with 36 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action. And please dear God let there be some.

Hey, Snotrockets!

 

So it turns out my fears that Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets were gone for good were all for naught because in yesterday’s game we had Bumgarner mucus and not just loogies. There were actual, real, honest-to-god snotrockets. Can I just insert a YAY here? Also a PHEW?

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, August 9, 2017 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs:

 

  • W, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 3rd, 4th and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 36 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Filling in for Bumgarner’s regular snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was the enterprising @iamjerklord. The first snotrocket of the game occurred at 1:26 PM in the 3rd inning:

 

Second Bumgarner snotrocket happened in the 4th inning at 1:46 PM:

 

Followed by an exciting after wipe:

 

The third and final snotrocket of the game was also followed by an after wipe. First up of course is the snotrocket:

 

And the after wipe, this time with the fingers and not the sleeve:

 

Just look at that smushed nose action. Beautiful.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, August 15, 2017 on the road vs. the Miami Marlins. See you here or on Twitter (but probably here the day after the game) for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Aught Snotrockets

 

Something terrible happened last Friday. Madison Bumgarner pitched and blew no snotrockets. This has happened before but it’s rare. When it does happen I just don’t feel right. Nothing feels right. Food doesn’t taste good. I can’t fall asleep at night. My skin crawls and my hair itches. What I’m saying is, it’s just not right for Bumgarner to pitch in a game and not blow snot. It’s like a crime against nature. Abnormal. Wrong. Bad. Please bring back your snotrockets Mr. Bumgarner or else I’ve got no reason to live.

Even though there were no snotrockets in last Friday’s game here are your game totals anyway for Friday, August 4, 2017 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 2 R, 2 E, 7 K, 1 HBP, 0 SNR (snotrockets).
  • Madison Bumgarner had no prolific innings because he blew no snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner still holding at 33 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

A Bumgarner game without snotrockets is like french fries without salt. Unpalatable and evil. Let us forget that this game ever happened.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start after this unmentionable one was today, Wednesday August 9, 2017 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs. See you here probably tomorrow for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Musty Snotrockets

Tonight Madison Bumgarner pitches at home in San Francisco against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Normally I would be watching the televised game and live-tweeting the snotrockets. However, I am so sorry but due to circumstances beyond my control I will not be able to do this tonight. Don’t Panik panic though; I will definitely be watching this game in a few days and tallying all the Bumgarner snotrockets blown. I will always tally Bumgarner’s snotrockets – this I vow. If I were on my death bed I’d still find a way. So okay, they won’t be fresh snotrockets. But aren’t stale, musty Bumgarner snotrockets better than no Bumgarner snotrockets at all? I think so. Anyway, tune in to this blog in a few days for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.