Aught Snotrockets


Something terrible happened last Friday. Madison Bumgarner pitched and blew no snotrockets. This has happened before but it’s rare. When it does happen I just don’t feel right. Nothing feels right. Food doesn’t taste good. I can’t fall asleep at night. My skin crawls and my hair itches. What I’m saying is, it’s just not right for Bumgarner to pitch in a game and not blow snot. It’s like a crime against nature. Abnormal. Wrong. Bad. Please bring back your snotrockets Mr. Bumgarner or else I’ve got no reason to live.

Even though there were no snotrockets in last Friday’s game here are your game totals anyway for Friday, August 4, 2017 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:


  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 2 R, 2 E, 7 K, 1 HBP, 0 SNR (snotrockets).
  • Madison Bumgarner had no prolific innings because he blew no snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner still holding at 33 snotrockets in the 2017 season.


A Bumgarner game without snotrockets is like french fries without salt. Unpalatable and evil. Let us forget that this game ever happened.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start after this unmentionable one was today, Wednesday August 9, 2017 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs. See you here probably tomorrow for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.