Shutdown Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner’s season is over. He was due to start one more game this weekend before the Giants closed out this miserable year but for whatever reason manager Bruce Bochy decided to shut down Bumgarner prematurely. How dare he. Doesn’t Bochy realize that he’s depriving the world of the majesty that is Bumgarner and his snotrockets? The nerve of some people.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 23, 2017 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew):

 

  • W, 7.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 2nd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner finishes the 2017 season with 62 snotrockets.

 

Caught blissfully unawares that this would be Bumgarner’s last start of the year @SanDiegoGiants  cheerfully went about his business of screencapping and giffing the game’s snotrockets. First up though is something else that’s also very important:

 

Now onto the snotrockets. And the  snotrocket rules:

 

Double snotrocket that’s not a double:

 

Bumgarner did blow one actual double snotrocket in this game. It occurred in the 8th inning and as always we here at Bumgarner Snotrockets® aim to please by providing you with twin nostril action. First up is a snotrocket from the left nostril:

 

And one from the right:

 

Single centerfield camera snotrocket from the 6th inning:

 

Thrilling loogie action in the 7th inning:

 

This important scientific discussion took place during the game:

 

Bonus Bumgarner business – everybody who is anybody knows that Madison Bumgarner doesn’t like the Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig. Actually Bumgarner doesn’t like a lot of people but he especially doesn’t like Puig. Therefore we can be pretty sure that Madison’s going to remember this moment in the game:

 

Annoying Puig bat flipping closeups:

 

I made this screencap myself because I thought that Madison Bumgarner actually had a bottle of milk in the dugout with him and I thought “Oh cool, Bumgarner’s a fellow milk fan” but no, upon closer examination I realized it was just a water bottle with something wrapped around it. I did notice in the background though a neat little detail: the Giants have their own bags of sunflower seeds. Check it out:

 

And here endeth another Madison Bumgarner snotrocket season, abbreviated by a dirt bike and cut short by a Bochy. Even thought Bumgarner closed out the season with less than 100 snotrockets I’m still grateful that I got to see any at all. And you should be too. Thank you Mr. Bumgarner for your excellent pitching, hitting and snotrocketing. We are not worthy.

Coming soon to this blog will be Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for this season, complete with breakdowns (day, night, home, road, team, league, etc.) and also a post featuring the best snotrocket screencaps and gifs made by @SanDiegoGiants, @iamjerklord and even some by yours truly. So stay tuned for those and also any breaking Bumgarner snotrocket news. Thanks for reading!

Gigante Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants wore their special ‘Gigante’ jerseys in last Saturday’s game in honor of Orlando Cepeda’s 80th birthday:

 

And in honor of Madison Bumgarner’s 16th start of the season the Giants did what they usually do in Bumgarner’s starts: scored zero runs for him. Sigh. You can guess the results.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 58 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

So the game was another undeserved loss for Mr. Bumgarner. What else is new this season? Doesn’t matter though because ever the professional that he is Bumgarner didn’t let his teammate’s ineptitude affect his snotrocketing. There was nasal projection and of course @SanDiegoGiants was right there with Bumgarner, capturing it for our viewing pleasure. Two snotrocket screencaps from the from the 7th inning:

 

Look at that nasal action. Kind of takes the sting out of yet another Giants loss, doesn’t it? Of course it does.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 23, 2017 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Guaranteed Snotrockets

 

The White Sox have one stupid name for their ballpark. That is all.

The San Francisco Giants and our hero Madison Bumgarner were in Chicago last weekend to play the ChiSox. It was not a good outing for Mr. Bumgarner; he gave up 6 runs and only went 5 innings. But I can’t complain because we had snotrockets. I mean, Bumgarner could cough up a dozen homers in a game and I’d be happy because he was still shooting out the mucus. Priorities.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 10, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox:

 

  • L, 5 IP, 10 H, 1 BB, 6 R, 6 ER, 4 K, 1 HR, 6 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 55 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Hey kids guess what time it is? It’s snotrocket screencap and gif time! @SanDiegoGiants captured some BumSnot  for your viewing pleasure. Even before Bumgarner threw his first pitch he blew his first snotrocket:

 

Also in the 1st inning a sneaky quick snotrocket:

 

Third snotrocket in the 1st inning:

 

Centerfield camera snotrockets are not the best ones but I’ll take them over no snotrockets at all:

 

Bonus Bumgarner goodies – thrilling hand blow screencap:

 

Bumgarner’s most stressful inning was the 2nd; he gave up 5 runs in that inning. Do you think he could have been distracted by the sign behind home plate?

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next star should be Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Pocket Snotrocket

 

Madison Bumgarner’s latest start didn’t go so well. He gave up 5 runs in 6 innings, with 3 of those runs coming on 3 solo homers. Oh well, get ’em next time Madison. At least you blew snotrockets so I’m good.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 3, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 3 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 in-glove/pocket SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 49 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

We were fortunate to see Bumgarner snotrockets in this game. We were even more fortunate that Bumgarner’s foremost snotrocket screencapper  @SanDiegoGiants captured some of them in screencap and gif form. Here’s something new: a twofer. Same snotrocket but from two different angles. Side-facing snotrocket:

 

And the same snotrocket but forward-facing and from a distance:

 

Bumgarner gave up three solo homers in this game but so what, he hit one himself:

 

Also in this game was an epic Bumgarner bat toss:

 

And just for the hell of it an umpire butt cam shot of a Bumgarner called strike three:

 

Those were all really nice but I saved the best for last. I saw something in this game that I’ve never seen in any of Madison Bumgarner’s appearances. A new kind of snotrocket the likes of which I’m fairly certain that no baseball player including Bumgarner has ever performed before. It was so unusual that I wasn’t even sure what it was at first. But upon repeated viewings I finally determined that it was indeed a snotrocket but… what to call it?

 

So pocket snotrocket it is, at least until I think of something better. And now without further ado here it is, the brand-new-never-before-seen-for-the-first-time-ever-super-fantastical (glove) pocket snotrocket:

 

WOW. Wasn’t that something? Don’t you consider yourself blessed for having seen it? You should.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 9, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner interleague snotrocket action.