No Win Snotrockets


It was the Giants vs. the Dodgers (ew) last Tuesday night. I’m not going to say who won because, again, ew. Who won isn’t important anyway. What is important: Bumgarner snotrockets.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, April 2, 2019 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew):

  • L, 6.0 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K,1 HR, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 3 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 21 snotrockets in the 2019 season.

Bumgarner’s personal snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was back at work for Madison’s second start of the season and he produced some fine images of Bum blowing some snot. A shot of snot from the 3rd inning:


Also from the 3rd:


Another from the same inning. The snot was strong in the 3rd:


I missed this Bumgarner start because of prior commitments:


When the truth was, I should have never sacrificed watching a Bumgarner start live over zombies. Only one other time have I done this and the guilt was such that I swore I would never do it again. Last Tuesday I did it again and I’m firmly convinced that because I broke my promise and betrayed Bumgarner and his snotrockets he and the Giants lost the game. I must live with this guilt forever.

Back to the snot. I conveyed my worries over missing this Bumgarner start on Twitter and @SanDiegoGiants was reassuring:


The score in the 6th inning was not ideal but the snotrockets were:


Another skill from Madison Bumgarner’s repertoire – the glove chew:


The realization that his snotrocket tallier had (temporarily) abandoned him to slay walkers caused Bumgarner to lose focus in the 3th inning:


But Mr. Bumgarner, true professional and Pitcher Who Rakes that he is, never lets anything affect his hitting prowess:


Bumgarner’s home run made it a 5-2 game; after that the Giants got closer, scoring 3 more runs in the 9th but ultimately lost to the Dodgers (ew) 6-5. So the good guys lost but the snotrocket fans won.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start after this one was Monday, April 8th, 2019 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. Tune in here soon for that thrilling episode in the Amazing Adventures of Madison Bumgarner’s Snotrockets. In the meantime you can catch me on Twitter, talking about the Giants, Bumgarner, The Walking Dead and who knows what else. Thanks for stopping by and see you back here for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

2019 Opening Day Snotrockets


Last year I was worried about Madison Bumgarner. Not about his pitching but his snotrocketing. For the past several seasons Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals have been in a decline. The numbers:

  • 2012: 348
  • 2013: 304
  • 2014: 393
  • 2015: 288
  • 2016: 233
  • 2017: 62
  • 2018: 82

Even before his injury-shortened seasons of 2017 and 2018 Madison Bumgarner was blowing fewer snotrockets since his season high of 393 in 2014. Who or what to blame for the loss of mucus? Only Bumgarner knows for sure. The mystery continues.

Fewer Bumgarner snotrockets are bad. It makes us sad. I have good news however. THE MUCUS HAS MADE A COMEBACK. Bumgarner was the Opening Day pitcher for the San Francisco Giants and even though once again he received no run support and another undeserved loss (sigh) the snotrockets were full and lush and plentiful. Oh for joy we have been blessed.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, March 27, 2019 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:


  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1BB, 9 K, 1 HR, 14 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 7 vs. righties, 6 other. 4 double SNR. 1 double blow SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 5 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner with 14 snotrockets in the 2019 season.


So the snotrockets are back and back too are the snotrocket screencaps and gifs. Hooray! Mr. Bumgarner’s official snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants returned from the off-season with a fresh batch of snot caps and gifs for your viewing pleasure. Two snotrockets from the 1st inning:


Mr. Bumgarner closed out a successful 1st inning as only he can:


As you can imagine I was thrilled after the 1st inning:


A Bumgarner specialty combo in the 3rd inning:


A happy dilemma:


Closeups for your snotrocket viewing pleasure:


Besides the snotrockets Bumgarner has other ways of relieving the tension:


Another Bumgarner specialty makes a comeback:


Madison Bumgarner’s nasal magnificence on Opening Day was such that it was an inspiration for one of his teammates:


Even though the Giants lost I looked for positives:


Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, April 2, 2019 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew). See you here or and on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.