Innovative Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner has been pitching in the big leagues since 2009 and he still manages to surprise me. For the second time this season Bumgarner came up with a new kind of snotrocket. Last week he produced his first ever hybrid snotrocket, a double snotrocket that was half glove, half regular. His next start saw him with another first: a triple snotrocket that was also a glove, double glove and a double blow. I was so stunned when I first saw it that I had no idea how to classify it:

 

After much pondering I decided to include it in three different snot rocket categories: triple snotrocket (new), double glove and double blow. And now writing this I just realized that Bumgarner has never blown a double glove snotrocket so that’s yet another new kind of snotrocket for him. Madison Bumgarner is a snotrocket genius.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, May 17, 2021 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew):

  • L, 4.0 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 19 SNR (snotrockets) : 3 vs. lefties, 9 vs. righties, 7 other. 7 ½ glove SNR. 2 at bat SNR. 2 double SNR. 1 hybrid SNR. 1 triple SNR. 1 double glove SNR. 1 double blow SNR. 1 on deck SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 8 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 109 snot rockets in the 2021 season.

Not only Madison Bumgarner but also the Arizona Diamondbacks television crew had me perplexed while watching this game:

 

Don’t worry, I did indeed rewatch the game from the beginning and got that snotrocket recorded in the right category (other) and at the right time too (7:36 PM) too. You’re welcome.

There was yet another surprise in this game:

 

Look at Bumgarner, inspiring awe and imitation snotrocketing in his teammates. By the way this also happened with the Giants:

 

Other players expelling mucus are all very well and good but let us get to the King of the Snotrockets. First snot rocket of the game:

 

A classic snot rocket also from the 1st inning:

 

Long distance glove snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

 

At bat snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

 

Hungry for snot rockets:

 

Bumgarner had two double snotrockets in the 3rd inning. The first one was your ordinary, garden variety, classic double snotrocket. It started with the left nostril:

 

And was followed by the right nostril:

 

The other double snotrocket was the new, fresh and exciting hybrid snotrocket. The gloved left nostril side went first:

 

Bare handed right nostril portion of the hybrid snotrocket was second:

 

The new hybrid snotrockets are very impressive and flashy so it’s unfortunate that both times they’ve happened this season they’ve been shown at a distance. I hope we get to see a hybrid SNR up close and personal soon.

Bumgarner was really cranking out the snot in the 3rd inning. Here’s another from the eight SNR that he produced in the 3rd:

 

An almost identical snotrocket a few minutes later. If you look closely you’ll see that Bumgarner’s finger isn’t quite on his nose. That’s because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get a clear well-defined shot of the actual snot rocket. I had to settle for what we will call a snotrocket approach:

 

Bumgarner started off the 4th inning with the always fun dugout snotrocket:

 

Fierce snot rocket also from the 4th inning:

 

Different angle of the same snotrocket:

 

I was able to get this second angle shot because I when I went back to replay the game I accidentally clicked on the Dodgers broadcast (ew) instead of the Diamondbacks one. Of course they would use two different camera crews which would produce two entirely different versions of the same game. For consistency in snotrocket tallying I try to always use the home team’s broadcast but in this case I was glad I made that mistake on the rewatch because it was kind of nice and rare to get two angles of the same snot rocket. That mistake though also caused a small bit of panic because on my Bumgarner snotrocket scorecard I had him down for two snotrockets blown while facing the Dodgers’ Sheldon Neuse in the 4th inning, one regular and one glove SNR. But the Dodgers broadcast didn’t show the glove snotrocket while the Diamondbacks one did. I was starting to seriously doubt my snotrocket tallying skills until I heard the announcers talking and realized they were with the Dodgers. Phew. My snotrocket record remains unsullied.

The new electrifying triple, glove, double glove, double blow snotrocket too happened in the 4th inning but it’s nearly impossible to capture how spectacular this was in screenshot form. It needs video or a gif to do it justice because a double blow snotrocket is when Bumgarner blows out of the same nostril twice; this is different from a regular double (not double blow) snotrocket which is when Madison blows mucus from both nostrils. If you want to see it in action you’ll need to watch the game on MLB TV and go to Gavin Lux’s at-bat in the 4th inning. But even though it’s not the same as seeing it in motion I still had to commemorate the occasion with screenshots so here’s the best that I could do. It started out with the gloved part and left nostril:

 

While the glove part of the triple snotrocket was still taking place they switched TV angles so here it is continued from a different view:

 

I couldn’t get a great shot of the regular barehanded/right nostril part of the triple SNR because Bumgarner still had his back to the camera so this was the best that I could do:

 

The most exciting thing to happen Bumgarner snotrocket-wise in years and 2/3 of it happened with his back to the camera. Sigh.

The last Bumgarner snot rocket of the game was an on-deck one in the top of the 5th inning:

 

Madison left the game after only throwing 80 pitches in 4 innings because of an injury that hopefully isn’t too serious. Shoutout to Bumgarner’s thighs for teaching me a new word – adductor:

 

I almost forgot to include my favorite screenshot of Bumgarner from this game. It wasn’t even a snotrocket but a nose scratch:

 

If Madison Bumgarner’s thighs and groin are cooperating his next start should be this Saturday, May 22, 2021 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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