Farmer Thick Snotrockets

 

Something weird happened last night. No, I’m not talking about the snotrockets flying through a cool foggy San Francisco night. I’m talking about the fact that for the second start in a row the Giants scored multiple runs for their god starting pitcher Madison Bumgarner, ensuring for him a rare two-game winning streak. Giants fans have become accustomed to seeing Bumgarner pitch well but with little or no run support and collecting no decision after no decision. But on Friday night everything came together perfectly and we got great Giant pitching, plenty of Giant runs and a Giant victory as a result. So weird.

What wasn’t weird were the snotrockets. No, they were your ordinary, run of the mill snotrockets. Workmanlike, standard and normal. Homespun mucus. Folksy snot. True, not as many snotrockets blown as Giants runs scored but we can’t have everything we want. Just be glad we got what we did.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 13, 2018 at home vs. the Oakland Athletics:

 

  • W, 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 double SNR. 1 BumHug.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 38 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

Last night’s game started off with an important question by Bumgarner’s snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants:

 

Snotrocket tallier’s ruling:

 

In the 5th inning Giants first baseman Brandon Belt paid honor to The Man:

 

False alarm:

 

Asserting his dominance:

 

Stealthy snotrockets:

 

In the top of the 7th inning Madison Bumgarner got into a bit of trouble, loading the bases with nobody out. He was pulled from the game and Giants reliever Reyes Moronta came in and performed rookie pitching magic, escaping the inning without allowing a single baserunner to score and preserving the chance for Bumgarner to get the win. As Moronta came into the dugout Bumgarner showed his appreciation:

 

Presented without comment:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be the first Giants game after the All-Star break: Friday, July 20, 2018 on the road vs. the Oakland Athletics. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Patriotic Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner pitched two days before the Fourth of July and he showed his love for his country in the best way possible: blowing a lot of snotrockets. Let us all salute the man for his patriotism. And his mucus.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, July 2, 2018 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 mound visit SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 32 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

Time for the snotrocket fireworks. As always snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants cranked out some fine snotrocket screencaps. Here are a couple of snotrockets from the 1st inning. As I mentioned before Mr. Bumgarner is a patriotic man:

Closeups:

 

 

I managed to capture a flag-waving snotrocket from the 4th inning:

 

I pledge allegiance to Bumgarner’s Mucus of the United Snotrockets of America:

 

Fuzzy jingoistic mound visit snotrocket with catcher Buster Posey standing at attention:

 

Nationalistic snotrocket from the 7th inning:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, July 7, 2018 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

 

Scoreless Snotrockets

 

Yawn, another well-pitched game by Madison Bumgarner. Snore, a San Francisco Giants walk-off win in the bottom of the 9th on a Brandon Crawford solo home run. Ho hum, there were a lot of snotrockets in tonight’s game wait I mean WE HAD MULTIPLE SNOTROCKETS WOW HOLY MOLY GADZOOKS EXCITEMENT.

Yes, the Giants won tonight’s game but once again Mr. Bumgarner didn’t get the win even though he pitched extremely well, giving up zero runs and only 2 hits in 7 innings. Ordinarily I would be unhappy about yet another fine outing by Bumgarner going unrewarded but it was hard to be sad for too long because we got a lot of first-rate snotrockets tonight.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, June 27, 2018 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 double SNR. 1 double blow SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 24 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

@SanDiegoGiants did a fine job tonight of capturing snotrockets in both static and gif form. Bumgarner’s only had a couple of double snotrockets so far in his pinky-shortened season but he blew one in tonight’s game and the trusty snotrocket screencapper got both sides. First up is the left nostril:

 

Then the right nostril:

 

Fast and furious snotrocket from the 4th inning:

 

Bumgarner shows his disdain for the Giants going scoreless by blowing a snotrocket onto his teammates:

 

Much more rare than a double snotrocket is the double pump or double blow snotrocket: two snorts out of the same nostril. Bumgarner performed one of these uncommon nasal shots in the top of the 5th inning. It was also accompanied by a medley of nose moves:

 

Sneaky snotrocket from the centerfield camera in the 6th inning:

 

Bonus Bumgarner goodness – even when he’s not blowing snotrockets Madison can still entertain in other ways:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, July 2, 2018 on the road vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Angelic Snotrockets

 

“It was the Madison we know.” That’s how San Francisco Giants’ manager Bruce Bochy described Madison Bumgarner’s outing tonight and was he ever right. It was vintage Bumgarner, beautifully pitched and the first Giants run brought in by the man himself.  Also Bumgarner got his first win of the season plus there were snotrockets! What a wonderful night.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, June 21, 2018 at home vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 1st and 8th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 16 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

Snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants captured some fine snotrocket shots from tonight’s game. Pre-game snotrocket, pie included:

 

Long distance snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

 

Three grand events:

 

Strike ’em out, snot ’em out:

 

Angels in the infield:

 

Or was it something more earthbound:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be next Wednesday, June 27, 2018 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Foxed Up Snotrockets

 

Saturday baseball = yay

Saturday baseball on Fox Network = not so yay

Saturday baseball on Fox Network in which the Giants lose to the Dodgers = kill me now

The Giants lost. The Dodgers won. Madison Bumgarner blew snotrockets in enemy territory. The Fox Network broadcasting team waxed rhapsodic over the Dodgers and got a lot of things wrong. Sigh.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, June 16, 2018 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eww):

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 4 BB (1 IBB), 3 K, 2 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • All three of Bumgarner’s snotrockets tonight came while facing Dodgers RHB Chris Taylor.
  • Bumgarner now with 9 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

So not a lot of snotrockets in this game but @SanDiegoGiants managed to snag a few anyway. First up is an early snotrocket from the 1st inning:

 

After that there weren’t any snotrockets seen until the 3rd inning. We were then treated to the sight of two rapid-fire snotrockets, one after the other in quick succession. While this might have caused confusion in some people there was no doubt in my mind as to what happened:

 

3rd inning snotrocket, number one:

 

3rd inning snotrocket, number two:

 

Bonus Bumgarner goodies – intense glove wipe:

 

Frustrated Bum:

 

Mad MadBum:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Friday, June 22, 2018 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Gorilla Glue Snotrockets

 

You win some, you lose some, you no-decision some. Hopefully you blow a few snotrockets too.

The San Francisco Giants were in Miami today to play the Marlins. Madison Bumgarner was on the mound and I was on my laptop, ready to tally all the snotrockets that would surely be flowing today. Only they didn’t exactly flow; more like they trickled. It was not an abundant day for snotrockets.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, June 11, 2018 on the road vs. the Miami Marlins (closed roof):

 

  • ND, 5.1 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, 1 HR, 1 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 5th in which he blew 1 snotrocket.
  • Bumgarner now with 6 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

See what I meant by ‘trickled’? One snotrocket for the entire game is a paltry amount. Regardless of the meager amount of mucus blown we here at Bumgarner Snotrockets aim to always satisfy your snotrocket cravings so here are not one but two screencaps of the same snotrocket. First up is @iamjerklord’s screencap, taken from the right side:

 

While I managed to capture the left side of the same snotrocket:

 

Other Madison news: Mr. Bumgarner was not pleased with umpire Jeremie (Don’t Spell It Jeremy) Rehak’s work behind the plate tonight. Madison is not shy about demonstrating his feelings when it comes to calls that he feels he’s not getting on his pitches but tonight he seemed especially dissatisfied. I saw a crazy amount of animation from Bumgarner, more than I’ve ever seen from him. Thus you have the Puppy Head Tilt Edition:

 

C’mon Ump Edition:

 

Bumgarner decided to have a little chat with the home plate ump in between innings:

 

It looked like maybe Bum was trying to make nice with Rehak there but that didn’t last long:

 

After Bumgarner gave up a couple of runs in the bottom of the 6th inning Giants manager Bruce Bochy pulled him from the game. As Bumgarner was walking towards the Giants dugout he could be seen mouthing a few words towards home plate:

 

Saying ‘blinking fertilizer’ to any umpire apparently results in an automatic ejection from the game, even if you’ve already been removed from said game by your manager. Bumgarner was very droll about his first career ejection:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, June 16, 2018 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuw). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

Restoration Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner is back! The snotrockets are back! The San Francisco Giants’ quiet offense is back! You should only be happy about two of those things!

Yes, Mr. Bumgarner has returned from his stint on the broken pinky list. He looked great, pitched great and snotrocketed great. Unfortunately the Giants did not hit great and so Bumgarner was tagged with an undeserved loss. Eight hits resulting in only two runs is no way to celebrate the return of your hero, boys.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 pre-game SNR. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 5 snotrockets in the 2018 season.

 

Oh how I have missed this:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2018-06-05-2

 

I wasn’t the only one who had snotrocket yearnings. First-rate snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was overcome with emotion:

 

Other fans were also thrilled at the sight of Bumgarner’s mucus:

 

Bumgarner started the game off strong:

 

Hot snot:

 

Pie chart snot:

 

Poetry in motion:

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – Loogie Bubble Edition:

 

If you follow me on Twitter you get very important Madison Bumgarner info like this:

 

I will also provide you with visual wedgie proof:

 

Yes, the Giants lost this game but:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be next Monday, June 11, 2018 on the road vs. the Miami Marlins. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket, loogie and wedgie pick action.