2017 Snotrocket Totals

 

Short but sweet. And sticky. That’s Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket season totals for 2017. Thanks to a certain automotive vehicle with in-line wheels Bumgarner’s season was abbreviated by several months. Think of all the snotrockets that went unblown. The horror. But think of the snot that did actually rocket out of Bumgarner’s nose. The delight!

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for the 2017 season and their breakdowns by type, vs. teams, divisions and leagues:

2017 first half SNR (snotrocket) totals:

  • Total: 26 SNR (4 starts)
  • Day: 9 (1 start)
  • Night: 17 (3 starts)
  • Home: 8 (1 start)
  • Road: 18 (3 starts)
  • vs. L: 4
  • vs. R: 13
  • Other: 9
  • Double: 3
  • Glove: 1
  • Wins: 0 (0 wins)
  • Losses: 17 (3 losses)
  • No Decisions: 9 (1 ND)

First half, vs. teams:

DBacks:

  • 9 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 3
  • vs. R: 4
  • Other: 2
  • Double: 1

Padres:

  • 4 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 2
  • Other: 2
  • Double: 2

Rockies:

  • 8 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 5
  • Other: 3
  • Glove: 1

vs. Royals:

  • 5 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 1
  • vs. R: 2
  • Other: 2

2017 second half SNR (snotrocket) totals:

  • Total: 36 SNR (13 starts)
  • Day: 15 (4 starts)
  • Night: 21 (9 starts)
  • Home: 16 (7 starts)
  • Road: 20 (6 starts)
  • vs. L: 3
  • vs. R: 22
  • Other: 11
  • Pre-game: 1
  • Double: 4
  • At-bat: 1
  • In glove/pocket: 1
  • Wins: 10 (4 wins)
  • Losses: 21 (6 losses)
  • No Decisions: 5 (3 ND)

Second half, vs. teams:

Padres:

  • 2 SNR (2 starts)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 1
  • Other: 1

Dodgers:

  • 6 SNR (2 starts)
  • vs. L: 1
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 2
  • Double: 2

DBacks:

  • 10 SNR (3 starts)
  • vs. L: 2
  • vs. R: 6
  • Other: 2
  • At-bat: 1
  • Closed Roof/indoor: 7

Pirates:

  • 3 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 1
  • Other: 2
  • Pre-game: 1
  • At-bat: 1

Cubs:

  • 3 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 0

Marlins:

  • 0 SNR (1 start)

Phillies:

  • 2 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 1
  • Other: 1

Cardinals:

  • 4 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 4
  • Other: 0
  • In glove/pocket: 1

White Sox:

  • 6 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 3
  • Double: 2

2017 season totals:

  • Total: 62 SNR
  • Day: 24
  • Night: 38
  • Home: 24
  • Road: 38
  • vs. L: 7
  • vs. R: 35
  • Other: 20
  • Pre-game: 1
  • Double: 7
  • At-bat: 1
  • Glove: 1
  • In-glove/pocket: 1
  • Wins: 10 (4 wins)
  • Losses: 38 (9 losses)
  • No decisions: 14 (4 no decisions)

Season totals, vs. teams:

DBacks:

  • 19 SNR (4 starts)
  • vs. L: 5
  • vs. R: 10
  • Other: 4
  • At-bat: 1
  • Double: 1
  • Indoor: 7

Dodgers:

  • 6 SNR (2 starts)
  • vs. L: 1
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 2
  • Double: 2

Padres:

  • 6 SNR (3 starts)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 1
  • Double: 2

Rockies:

  • 8 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 5
  • Other: 3
  • Glove: 1

Pirates:

  • 3 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 1
  • Other: 2
  • Pre-game: 1
  • At-bat: 1

Cubs:

  • 3 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 0

Marlins:

  • 0 SNR (1 start)

Phillies:

  • 2 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 1
  • Other: 1

Cardinals:

  • 4 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 4
  • Other: 0
  • In glove/pocket: 1

White Sox:

  • 6 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 0
  • vs. R: 3
  • Other: 3
  • Double: 2

Royals:

  • 5 SNR (1 start)
  • vs. L: 1
  • vs. R: 2
  • Other: 2

Season totals, by divisions/leagues:

  • NL West: 39 SNR (10 starts)
  • NL Central: 10 SNR (3 starts)
  • NL East: 2 SNR (2 starts)
  • AL: 11 SNR (2 starts)

Coming soon will be a ‘Best Of’ post with some of Madison Bumgarner’s best snotrocket screencaps. Sneak preview:

You can hardly wait, can you. Don’t deny it. Don’t fight it. Give in to the Bumgarner snotrockets. It is your destiny.

See you here or on Twitter for more Madison Bumgarner snotrocket excitement soon.

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Season Snotrocket Totals Coming To A Blog Near You

 

I just realized I haven’t compiled Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for the 2017 season yet. As Bumgarner only had 17 starts this season (blame a wayward dirt bike) there is really no excuse for this tardiness. My sincerest apologies go out to you, dear snotrocket fans. Maintain calm, all is well. I promise you, Bumgarner season snotrocket totals are coming soon.

 

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Shutdown Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner’s season is over. He was due to start one more game this weekend before the Giants closed out this miserable year but for whatever reason manager Bruce Bochy decided to shut down Bumgarner prematurely. How dare he. Doesn’t Bochy realize that he’s depriving the world of the majesty that is Bumgarner and his snotrockets? The nerve of some people.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 23, 2017 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew):

 

  • W, 7.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 2nd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner finishes the 2017 season with 62 snotrockets.

 

Caught blissfully unawares that this would be Bumgarner’s last start of the year @SanDiegoGiants  cheerfully went about his business of screencapping and giffing the game’s snotrockets. First up though is something else that’s also very important:

 

Now onto the snotrockets. And the  snotrocket rules:

 

Double snotrocket that’s not a double:

 

Bumgarner did blow one actual double snotrocket in this game. It occurred in the 8th inning and as always we here at Bumgarner Snotrockets® aim to please by providing you with twin nostril action. First up is a snotrocket from the left nostril:

 

And one from the right:

 

Single centerfield camera snotrocket from the 6th inning:

 

Thrilling loogie action in the 7th inning:

 

This important scientific discussion took place during the game:

 

Bonus Bumgarner business – everybody who is anybody knows that Madison Bumgarner doesn’t like the Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig. Actually Bumgarner doesn’t like a lot of people but he especially doesn’t like Puig. Therefore we can be pretty sure that Madison’s going to remember this moment in the game:

 

Annoying Puig bat flipping closeups:

 

I made this screencap myself because I thought that Madison Bumgarner actually had a bottle of milk in the dugout with him and I thought “Oh cool, Bumgarner’s a fellow milk fan” but no, upon closer examination I realized it was just a water bottle with something wrapped around it. I did notice in the background though a neat little detail: the Giants have their own bags of sunflower seeds. Check it out:

 

And here endeth another Madison Bumgarner snotrocket season, abbreviated by a dirt bike and cut short by a Bochy. Even thought Bumgarner closed out the season with less than 100 snotrockets I’m still grateful that I got to see any at all. And you should be too. Thank you Mr. Bumgarner for your excellent pitching, hitting and snotrocketing. We are not worthy.

Coming soon to this blog will be Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals for this season, complete with breakdowns (day, night, home, road, team, league, etc.) and also a post featuring the best snotrocket screencaps and gifs made by @SanDiegoGiants, @iamjerklord and even some by yours truly. So stay tuned for those and also any breaking Bumgarner snotrocket news. Thanks for reading!

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Gigante Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants wore their special ‘Gigante’ jerseys in last Saturday’s game in honor of Orlando Cepeda’s 80th birthday:

 

And in honor of Madison Bumgarner’s 16th start of the season the Giants did what they usually do in Bumgarner’s starts: scored zero runs for him. Sigh. You can guess the results.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 58 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

So the game was another undeserved loss for Mr. Bumgarner. What else is new this season? Doesn’t matter though because ever the professional that he is Bumgarner didn’t let his teammate’s ineptitude affect his snotrocketing. There was nasal projection and of course @SanDiegoGiants was right there with Bumgarner, capturing it for our viewing pleasure. Two snotrocket screencaps from the from the 7th inning:

 

Look at that nasal action. Kind of takes the sting out of yet another Giants loss, doesn’t it? Of course it does.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 23, 2017 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Guaranteed Snotrockets

 

The White Sox have one stupid name for their ballpark. That is all.

The San Francisco Giants and our hero Madison Bumgarner were in Chicago last weekend to play the ChiSox. It was not a good outing for Mr. Bumgarner; he gave up 6 runs and only went 5 innings. But I can’t complain because we had snotrockets. I mean, Bumgarner could cough up a dozen homers in a game and I’d be happy because he was still shooting out the mucus. Priorities.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 10, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox:

 

  • L, 5 IP, 10 H, 1 BB, 6 R, 6 ER, 4 K, 1 HR, 6 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 55 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Hey kids guess what time it is? It’s snotrocket screencap and gif time! @SanDiegoGiants captured some BumSnot  for your viewing pleasure. Even before Bumgarner threw his first pitch he blew his first snotrocket:

 

Also in the 1st inning a sneaky quick snotrocket:

 

Third snotrocket in the 1st inning:

 

Centerfield camera snotrockets are not the best ones but I’ll take them over no snotrockets at all:

 

Bonus Bumgarner goodies – thrilling hand blow screencap:

 

Bumgarner’s most stressful inning was the 2nd; he gave up 5 runs in that inning. Do you think he could have been distracted by the sign behind home plate?

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next star should be Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Pocket Snotrocket

 

Madison Bumgarner’s latest start didn’t go so well. He gave up 5 runs in 6 innings, with 3 of those runs coming on 3 solo homers. Oh well, get ’em next time Madison. At least you blew snotrockets so I’m good.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 3, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 3 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 in-glove/pocket SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 49 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

We were fortunate to see Bumgarner snotrockets in this game. We were even more fortunate that Bumgarner’s foremost snotrocket screencapper  @SanDiegoGiants captured some of them in screencap and gif form. Here’s something new: a twofer. Same snotrocket but from two different angles. Side-facing snotrocket:

 

And the same snotrocket but forward-facing and from a distance:

 

Bumgarner gave up three solo homers in this game but so what, he hit one himself:

 

Also in this game was an epic Bumgarner bat toss:

 

And just for the hell of it an umpire butt cam shot of a Bumgarner called strike three:

 

Those were all really nice but I saved the best for last. I saw something in this game that I’ve never seen in any of Madison Bumgarner’s appearances. A new kind of snotrocket the likes of which I’m fairly certain that no baseball player including Bumgarner has ever performed before. It was so unusual that I wasn’t even sure what it was at first. But upon repeated viewings I finally determined that it was indeed a snotrocket but… what to call it?

 

So pocket snotrocket it is, at least until I think of something better. And now without further ado here it is, the brand-new-never-before-seen-for-the-first-time-ever-super-fantastical (glove) pocket snotrocket:

 

WOW. Wasn’t that something? Don’t you consider yourself blessed for having seen it? You should.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 9, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner interleague snotrocket action.

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Sugar Skull Snotrockets

 

Good things that have returned:

  1. Madison Bumgarner snotrockets
  2. Madison Bumgarner loogies
  3. Madison Bumgarner cup twitches

 

Bad things that have returned:

  1. No run support for Madison Bumgarner

 

Looky, another game where Madison Bumgarner pitched really well but received a loss because his teammates forgot how to hit a ball with a bat. Bumgarner’d is the new Cain’d. Oh well at least we had snotrockets. Thank you Mr. Bumgarner for the return of the mucus. I’m sorry your teammates get hitting amnesia every time you pitch.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, August 26, 2017 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks (closed roof):

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 45 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Thank goodness @SanDiegoGiants didn’t suddenly develop snotrocket screencapping amnesia. Unlike the Giants he was hard at work in last Saturday’s game, giffing and screencapping. First up are a couple of snotrocket screencaps. They actually occurred later in the game but I was so excited to see them that I had to post them right away. Snotrocket screencap #1 was in the 7th inning and after 97 pitches:

 

Nearly identical snotrocket in the same inning but after 106 pitches:

 

Next is a 3 for 1 special – a gif with a long ball, a smirk and a snotrocket:

 

Long fly ball + long crotch grab + 4 free weeks of nicotine gum:

 

Important distinction:

 

Bumgarner argues with the home plate ump during an at-bat while simultaneously doing a double crotch grab:

 

Extra Bumgarner goodies:

Last weekend was Players Weekend in Major League Baseball where players could wear special jerseys with any nickname they wanted on the back. Bumgarner’s choice was probably an obvious one:

 

During the game San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy was inspired by his ace lefty and had a little nose action of his own:

 

The day before the game @NBCSGiants tweeted out a question: what would fans suggest to MLB to make the game more fun and attractive for fans? Personally I think just a plain old baseball game is exciting enough without having to add bells and whistles and whatnot but I never miss an opportunity to get in a plug for Bumgarner’s snotrockets. They aired the best answers on TV after that night’s game and much thanks go to @BASportsGuy for this pic:

 

Finally, an explanation about this blog post’s title – the Diamondbacks had an ad for a bobblehead giveaway up on their backstop the entire length of the game:

and after a few innings of seeing it I just kept hearing the words “sugar skull sugar skull sugar skull” in my head over and over and over. I have no idea what a sugar skull bobblehead is but I did wonder if the Diamondbacks maybe had the first edible bobblehead. That would be worth standing in line for.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be tonight, Thursday August 31, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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