Gigante Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants wore their special ‘Gigante’ jerseys in last Saturday’s game in honor of Orlando Cepeda’s 80th birthday:

 

And in honor of Madison Bumgarner’s 16th start of the season the Giants did what they usually do in Bumgarner’s starts: scored zero runs for him. Sigh. You can guess the results.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, 1 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 58 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

So the game was another undeserved loss for Mr. Bumgarner. What else is new this season? Doesn’t matter though because ever the professional that he is Bumgarner didn’t let his teammate’s ineptitude affect his snotrocketing. There was nasal projection and of course @SanDiegoGiants was right there with Bumgarner, capturing it for our viewing pleasure. Two snotrocket screencaps from the from the 7th inning:

 

Look at that nasal action. Kind of takes the sting out of yet another Giants loss, doesn’t it? Of course it does.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 23, 2017 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (ew). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Guaranteed Snotrockets

 

The White Sox have one stupid name for their ballpark. That is all.

The San Francisco Giants and our hero Madison Bumgarner were in Chicago last weekend to play the ChiSox. It was not a good outing for Mr. Bumgarner; he gave up 6 runs and only went 5 innings. But I can’t complain because we had snotrockets. I mean, Bumgarner could cough up a dozen homers in a game and I’d be happy because he was still shooting out the mucus. Priorities.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 10, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox:

 

  • L, 5 IP, 10 H, 1 BB, 6 R, 6 ER, 4 K, 1 HR, 6 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 55 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Hey kids guess what time it is? It’s snotrocket screencap and gif time! @SanDiegoGiants captured some BumSnot  for your viewing pleasure. Even before Bumgarner threw his first pitch he blew his first snotrocket:

 

Also in the 1st inning a sneaky quick snotrocket:

 

Third snotrocket in the 1st inning:

 

Centerfield camera snotrockets are not the best ones but I’ll take them over no snotrockets at all:

 

Bonus Bumgarner goodies – thrilling hand blow screencap:

 

Bumgarner’s most stressful inning was the 2nd; he gave up 5 runs in that inning. Do you think he could have been distracted by the sign behind home plate?

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next star should be Saturday, September 16, 2017 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Pocket Snotrocket

 

Madison Bumgarner’s latest start didn’t go so well. He gave up 5 runs in 6 innings, with 3 of those runs coming on 3 solo homers. Oh well, get ’em next time Madison. At least you blew snotrockets so I’m good.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, September 3, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 3 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 in-glove/pocket SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 49 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

We were fortunate to see Bumgarner snotrockets in this game. We were even more fortunate that Bumgarner’s foremost snotrocket screencapper  @SanDiegoGiants captured some of them in screencap and gif form. Here’s something new: a twofer. Same snotrocket but from two different angles. Side-facing snotrocket:

 

And the same snotrocket but forward-facing and from a distance:

 

Bumgarner gave up three solo homers in this game but so what, he hit one himself:

 

Also in this game was an epic Bumgarner bat toss:

 

And just for the hell of it an umpire butt cam shot of a Bumgarner called strike three:

 

Those were all really nice but I saved the best for last. I saw something in this game that I’ve never seen in any of Madison Bumgarner’s appearances. A new kind of snotrocket the likes of which I’m fairly certain that no baseball player including Bumgarner has ever performed before. It was so unusual that I wasn’t even sure what it was at first. But upon repeated viewings I finally determined that it was indeed a snotrocket but… what to call it?

 

So pocket snotrocket it is, at least until I think of something better. And now without further ado here it is, the brand-new-never-before-seen-for-the-first-time-ever-super-fantastical (glove) pocket snotrocket:

 

WOW. Wasn’t that something? Don’t you consider yourself blessed for having seen it? You should.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, September 9, 2017 on the road vs. the Chicago White Sox. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner interleague snotrocket action.

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Sugar Skull Snotrockets

 

Good things that have returned:

  1. Madison Bumgarner snotrockets
  2. Madison Bumgarner loogies
  3. Madison Bumgarner cup twitches

 

Bad things that have returned:

  1. No run support for Madison Bumgarner

 

Looky, another game where Madison Bumgarner pitched really well but received a loss because his teammates forgot how to hit a ball with a bat. Bumgarner’d is the new Cain’d. Oh well at least we had snotrockets. Thank you Mr. Bumgarner for the return of the mucus. I’m sorry your teammates get hitting amnesia every time you pitch.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, August 26, 2017 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks (closed roof):

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 45 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Thank goodness @SanDiegoGiants didn’t suddenly develop snotrocket screencapping amnesia. Unlike the Giants he was hard at work in last Saturday’s game, giffing and screencapping. First up are a couple of snotrocket screencaps. They actually occurred later in the game but I was so excited to see them that I had to post them right away. Snotrocket screencap #1 was in the 7th inning and after 97 pitches:

 

Nearly identical snotrocket in the same inning but after 106 pitches:

 

Next is a 3 for 1 special – a gif with a long ball, a smirk and a snotrocket:

 

Long fly ball + long crotch grab + 4 free weeks of nicotine gum:

 

Important distinction:

 

Bumgarner argues with the home plate ump during an at-bat while simultaneously doing a double crotch grab:

 

Extra Bumgarner goodies:

Last weekend was Players Weekend in Major League Baseball where players could wear special jerseys with any nickname they wanted on the back. Bumgarner’s choice was probably an obvious one:

 

During the game San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy was inspired by his ace lefty and had a little nose action of his own:

 

The day before the game @NBCSGiants tweeted out a question: what would fans suggest to MLB to make the game more fun and attractive for fans? Personally I think just a plain old baseball game is exciting enough without having to add bells and whistles and whatnot but I never miss an opportunity to get in a plug for Bumgarner’s snotrockets. They aired the best answers on TV after that night’s game and much thanks go to @BASportsGuy for this pic:

 

Finally, an explanation about this blog post’s title – the Diamondbacks had an ad for a bobblehead giveaway up on their backstop the entire length of the game:

and after a few innings of seeing it I just kept hearing the words “sugar skull sugar skull sugar skull” in my head over and over and over. I have no idea what a sugar skull bobblehead is but I did wonder if the Diamondbacks maybe had the first edible bobblehead. That would be worth standing in line for.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be tonight, Thursday August 31, 2017 at home vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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A Smidgen Of Snotrockets

 

They’re back. Back again. The snotrockets are back. Tell a friend. Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets haven’t completely dried up and gone away forever. They just took a night off in his last start. So okay there weren’t that many snotrockets in Bumgarner’s latest start but that’s all right; a smidgen of snotrockets are better than none at all. Also seeing a return to Bumgarner’s game were the beloved cup twitches and loogies. No wedgie picks though but I don’t want to be greedy so I’m not complaining.

I’m also not going to complain about the San Francisco Giants once again barely scoring any runs for Bumgarner, only managing two in this game one of which was produced by the big man himself. Nope, not complaining about yet another win that should have been Bumgarner’s but for the fact that whenever he pitches lately Giants runs are as scarce as the snotrockets. No siree bob no complaints here about Bumgarner’s teammates offensively going as cold as an August night game at Candlestick Park because I’m not the complaining type see?

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies:

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 2nd and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 38 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Even though the snotrockets in this game were as rare as a 2017 Giants win that ace snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants captured both of them. First up is a combination loogie + snotrocket gif:

 

Here’s Bumgarner taking care of business himself and driving in a run:

 

And the game’s only other snotrocket which happened in the 6th inning:

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, August 26, 2017 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Screech Vs. The Snotrocketer

 

No Madison Bumgarner snotrockets to share in this blog post, just a wonderful gif I came across recently. It was made last year by @SanDiegoGiants of the time Bumgarner pitched against the Nationals in Washington D.C. and the Nats’ mascot Screech did a masterful troll job of Bum when he was taking his cuts in the on deck circle:

 

Madison Bumgarner is scheduled to pitch this Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action.

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Snitcher Snotrockets

 

Someone tattled on me. Someone told Madison Bumgarner about this snotrocket blog. I’m almost certain of it. Someone had to have said to him, “Hey did you know there’s some weirdo out there that tallies the number of times you blow a snotrocket in a game? And oh by the way she also takes note whenever you hock a loogie, twitch your cup and unpick a wedgie?” Because how else can you explain the sudden paucity of mucus? Plus everything else. As far as the snotrockets are concerned I’m pretty sure it’s not the result of any allergy medications because I can still tell just by watching him Bumgarner’s producing plenty of mucus out there on the mound. I study that boy like a hawk when he pitches and lately instead of producing snotrockets and loogies Bumgarner has been sucking down the mucus and swallowing them instead. I told you I watch him closely and you’re welcome. He’s also still rubbing his nose on his glove and sleeve a lot so I know the snotrockets are itching to come busting out of that nose but Bumgarner’s suppressing them and that’s just not right. It’s unnatural to suppress the natural. Release the snot.

And suddenly there’s so fewer cup twitches too. Also I can’t remember the last time I saw Bumgarner pick at the seat of his pants. All that colorfulness, gone. Why? Why did you snitch, you snitcher? Why would you want to make Madison Bumgarner feel ashamed about being Madison Bumgarner? People love his snotrockets. They’re fun. A part of his country boy charm. An essential component of his Madison Bumgarner-ness. Whoever finked on me please make it right. Go back to Bumgarner and tell him his fans love him and his snotrockets. We want them both. They go together, like peanut butter and jelly. Pork and beans. Socks and shoes. Bumgarner and snotrockets. They’re a pair that should never be separated. Together always.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, August 15, 2017 on the road vs. the Miami Marlins:

 

  • W, 6.0 IP, 9 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 0 SNR (snotrockets). 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner still with 36 snotrockets in the 2017 season.

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, August 20, 2017 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting Bumgarner snotrocket action. And please dear God let there be some.

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